DEUTERONOMY 9-10, LUKE 8

 Moses is kind but not nice - kind of like New Yorkers!  

When he talks to his people, he tells them that God is doing great stuff for them, not because of how righteous they are, but because how evil their enemies are.  At first, I'm like, "Take it easy. Why do you have to bring down the people like that?"

But then, he gives the reasons.  They complained about God leading them out of slavery.  They stopped doing what He asked them to do.  They literally made gold images of other gods to worship.  When Moses went up the hill for forty days with no food or water to get the Ten Commandments, he came down....and had to go right back up to make up for what the people had done.  

That's how, I think, God looks at us too!  He does stuff for us, but He is also knows our hearts.  He is aware when we rebel against Him and gets angry when we don't do the stuff He says.  That's when I think Jesus steps in, like Moses, to plead on our behaves.  Really, without Jesus, with the way we act and think, we'd be screwed.

Side note: The Psalms cracked me up today.  It was like two paragraphs of kill my enemies, get 'em, they are horrible people.  But, bless me!  Sounds like me sometimes.

DEUTERONOMY 7-8, LUKE 7-8

 Wow!  Both 7 and 8!  But, I'm not going there!  For the first time since I've started reading the Bible, I'm quoting a Proverb!

"but whoever hates correction is stupid." - Proverb 12:1

I know - that's not even a great proverb.  There is nothing life changing there.  It's not a great pearl of wisdom.  But, it speaks to me.

I hate correction - in any form.  A sit down meeting, an email, a snide comment, a loving rebuke, something said by a stranger - it doesn't matter.  I hate them all.  No matter how you say it to me, no matter if I am in the wrong, no matter if you are my favorite person in the whole world - I hate it.

So, I react with anger and a little side of having to prove myself right.  Maybe, after a while, I will get to the part where I look at who is saying it or if any of what they are saying is true.  But, in the moment, I am defensive, arrogant and I'll say it again, angry.

I am stupid.  It's as simple as that.

Correction makes us better.  It's true in sports, it's true in life.  We may not like it, it may take a while for it to "soak in", but it is good for us.  And it may even be that the people who are correcting us know that too.

DEUTERONOMY 5-6, LUKE 7

 Whoops missed it!  I love the Sabbath; especially when I was working at PADS after school and on Saturday.  I so looked forward to that Sunday of doing nothing.  It refreshed me, it was good for my soul.  I thought I got it.  God gave us the Sabbath to refresh us.  Makes sense.

But, then I read today about how we should do the Sabbath to honor God.  There was nothing about how it was good for our soul, how it prepared us to work hard for the next six days, nothing about refreshing us.  It was all about Him.  Honor God with the Sabbath.

Does it honor Him because we are trusting Him that if we give up that day everything will get done?  Does it honor Him because we are taking a day just to meditate and think about nothing else?  Does it honor Him because we are doing what He says?  Is it one of those God things where He says it's for Him but it's really for us - just like coveting, bearing false witness, and heck all of the commandments?  

As I read on, and as I've read for about a month now, it does seem like the best way to honor God is to do what He says.  I still love the Sabbath, and now it's not so selfishly!

DEUTERONOMY 4, LUKE 6-7

 When we pray, "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" that pretty much takes away the ability to hold a grudge doesn't it?  

See, how I usually handle confrontation is that I don't talk to the people - maybe for the rest of my life.  That doesn't work!  You are telling us that.  Forgiveness builds the Kingdom.  Heck, some may say the Kingdom is built on forgiveness!  I am an idiot.  I am constantly doing things that are bad for me and bad for the Kingdom.  Sorry about that.

Also, "God sets the lonely into families."  That got me.  I really do have a heart for the dorks, losers, people who are not accepted by others - really the lonely.  It's probably because I am one of them, and if I can do anything to help anyone in the same situation, then how could I not?

DEUTERONOMY 2-3, LUKE 6

 I've had this theory lately that it's not really how long you pray, it's more of just talking....Heck, I don't know what my theory was. But, I do know I didn't think you needed to pray for an hour at a time.  The amount of time you spent in prayer didn't matter.

My theory was that praying all day was the way to go.  But, that is just a theory.  I don't do that.  In fact, after I leave my prayer chair, it's the very rare occasion that I even think to go to You or stop and listen.  I also thought that we could just (and this is going to be borderline insane) tell You what we need, what's going on - no need to spew out hours of details or words that don't mean anything.  

What I'm really realizing is that my prayer life is messed up.  Ever since I stopped walking my brain is jumbled like Iga Swiatek's.  

That's the first step.  Then, maybe looking at what You did (prayed all night for who to pick as a disciple) and went away often to pray, would be a good second step.  

Actually, maybe I should just pray to know how to pray.

NUMBERS 36, DEUTERONOMY 1, LUKE 5-6

 The Pharisees knew that Jesus could heal people so they waited to see if He would heal someone on the Sabbath.  They knew He could heal people!  

If they knew for a fact He could heal people, did it not cross their mind that maybe He was the Messiah?  How many people were healing at that time?  Was it a common thing?  They are basically admitting that there must be something special about You, but then also wanting to catch you breaking the Sabbath?  Seems like they should have focused on the miracle and gone from there.

It's like MLB.  They admit that roboumps call balls and strikes correctly.  They literally use that to judge the umpires on the field.  So, they are saying, "We have the technology to get these calls right all them time, but we're going to keep the human element on the field."  The human element?  The most important thing is to get the call right - maybe focus on that and go from there.

I guess it's like that a lot in life.  We let what doesn't really matter distract us from what we know is true.  God loves us.  God is all powerful.  God has sent His Son for us.  He's on our side.  We know that!  Maybe we should focus on that and go from there.

NUMBERS 32-33, LUKE 4-5

​Would I be a better follower if I was afraid of God?

I was thinking about how thankful I was for Jesus and how because of Him I am able envision a loving God.  Back in Old Testament times, I don’t get the same picture.  There are a lot of people who fear God and talk about His anger.

But, then I started to wonder, “Would it be better for the kingdom if I did have more fear?”  It’s the same God.  There is still that anger, still that ability to punish and still the power to do so.

Honestly, as I typed that I was reminded of the time I’ve spent doing things out of fear (a long time!) and I may have been more “productive” but I seem to be more connected now.  

I really don’t know.  

NUMBERS 30-31, LUKE 4

 You walk right through the line of people.  Can you imagine, they thought they were going to throw the Messiah over a hill.  I don't know what they were so mad about anyway.  You just said that prophets were not recognized in their home town.  They couldn't have been mad because they were being accused of not recognizing You - they didn't even believe in You.  Furthermore, why were they so mad at You for claiming to be who You were?  No skin off their back - if You were, the Messiah had come.  If You weren't they could just go on with their lives.

  It seems like a lot of people got very mad at You for claiming to be the Messiah, but they never took the time to think, "Is this really true?"

  The common people did.  It was the people who thought they were smarter than everyone who had a problem with it. I get that. In fantasy, I like to be the one who is smarter than everyone in the room. I go for the picks that other people "don't see coming."  (Those hardly ever work.). Even when I started coaching tennis.  I thought I had all the answers and I would think a lot how I would do it better. But, then I found out that maybe what we were doing is ok.

When I started typing this, I thought it would end up being a commentary on how strong You are or how dumb these people were.  But, I think it's a good reminder.  The more I, or anyone, tries to prove how smart they are the worse things turn out.

NUMBERS 26-28, LUKE 3

 i have often times said that I am more of a John the Baptist than a Jesus.  But, I've never really looked at the Isaiah passage where he describes what he is doing:

"Prepare the way fo the Lord, make straight paths for him.  Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low.  The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth.  And all the people will see God's salvation."

No hills.  No valleys.  Everything is a straight path.  Back in those days, I bet that was a big deal.  When you would walk everywhere, I bet people really looked forward to walking on even ground and taking the most direct path to get somewhere.  

So, John was making it easy for Jesus to get to where He was going.  His job was to do whatever he had to to make Jesus's job easier.

I am a John the Baptist.

NUMBERS 26, LUKE 2

 There are a lot of war themes in the Bible.  Today they counted how many men were available for the Israelite army.  Why did the Israelites have an army?  The Psalm today (and a lot of days) are about beating their enemy.  

It's weird because there are no references whatsoever from Jesus.  You never talked about defeating the enemy (unless it was Satan) or using violence (except that one time when You said to bring a sword).  But, You were a fighter - not with violence, but with determination, focus, and belief.  

I get the analogy.  We are at war, like You said, with evil.  We have to fight, not with violence, but with The Spirit.  

I just don't get why there were real people, fighting real wars to show that.

NUMBERS 24-25, LUKE 2

 You know what I've never heard talked about in church, any Bible study I've done, really no Christian training I can remember - Why did God kill 24,000 people?  

I mean, He says He killed them because they were not zealous for Him and they did not follow what He said.  That's the literal reason, but why?  If someone killed 24,000 people today because they were Agnostic or (wow, I can't think of a religion that worships a god besides God) Satanists or Buddhism or Hinduism (I thought there weren't specific gods, but there are), that would not go well with anyone - Jews, Christians and Muslims included (they all worship the God of the Old Testament!).

Side note: That may be one of the longest sentences I've ever written!

When Jesus came, He didn't kill anyone.  In fact, He willingly gave up His own life.  

So, how do we go from a God who kills 24,000 for worshiping another god to Jesus?  You got me!

Let's go Rams!

NUMBERS 21-22, LUKE 1

 Has anyone every heard of the Book of War from God?  Me neither.  But, it's quoted in Numbers.  Then, in chapter 22 they quote the poets of the day.  What is going on?

I've read the Bible a couple of times all the way through, and I don't remember any other book, besides the Bible, being quoted in the Bible.  And that led me to think about the divination of different sources (I think divination is the right word - I was trying to say how much God could use something to learn the truth.)

Joshua (the book, not the book in the Bible), The Kingdom of God is a Party, Love God Love People (song), Maniac Magee, Family Man (movie), Billy Madison - there are a lot of things I've seen, read, heard that help me to learn about The Kingdom.  I don't think this is a hot take.   The Bible is not the only source for learning about The Kingdom.  

There is no message here.  Everybody get's this, but I just wanted to recognize some of the things that have inspired me, and if the Bible can do it, I can do it too!

NUMBERS 15-16, MARK 14

​They catch a guy gathering wood on the Sabbath and aren’t sure what to do with him.  So, they take him to the tent of meeting, and God says….

KILL HIM!

I will never understand this!  He was gathering wood.  OK, it’s against God’s laws, but how about a goat offering or something?

The deeper question is why does God kill so many people in the Old Testament?  In this case, I thought, “This has to be a misinterpretation of the Hebrew or Greek or whatever.”  Or, maybe, God is showing us the seriousness; especially back then, of not following his commands.  It also crossed my mind that physical death is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us.

But, to be honest, I think this may be one thing that we just never understand…and choose to follow any way!

NUMBERS 14-15, MARK 15

 I like when God is like me.  All of the Israelites are complaining about how they have it and saying, "We would be better off back in Egypt."  So, God tells Moses, "I am going to kill them all!" (My paraphrase).

I'm like that too.  When people complain about something I do, my first reaction is to.....OK, maybe I don't want to kill them, but I want to get back.  I get angry.  I want them to suffer.  

In fact, yesterday, I was at a crossroads.  A teacher, who has done a lot of stuff in the past, did another thing that wasn't directly against me, but it got me very angry.  One response I could have taken was to punish her with a quick text.  However, I was wise enough to know that once you go down that road, it's a very quick trip to the Dark Side!  

I didn't do it, and I think it was the right thing to do.  But, I like that You have the same thoughts.

And I also like that you put people in this world to talk to us (heck, even to talk to You) that can help us do what is best.  The fact that Moses could talk You out of something is amazing.  Who are we?  

Probably more important than we think!

NUMBERS 11-13, MARK 14

 First, let me say that I'm still angry so this might not be the most spiritual thing I've ever written.

So, they take 70 people (I'm guessing all guys at that time) and bring them to the tent to get God's Spirit. 68 come, and they all get The Spirit and even start prophesying.  But then, even the two that didn't come, God's Spirit falls on them and they start prophesying.  The people go crazy - they can't believe it!  They want them to stop.  They're so excited that they tell Moses.

And Moses says, "I wish that all the Lord's people were prophets and that the Lord would put his Spirit on them!"

We are!  Every single one of us has God's Spirit.  I'm not sure we're all prophets, but we all have God's Spirit.  I think I forget that and if anyone ever read this, I bet you do too.  We all have everything we need right inside of us to teach others, help others - be prophets.  That's it!  That's the message!

NUMBERS 10-11, MARK 14

 I never mention the Psalms or Proverbs - don't even put them in the title.  They're too short, they're just prayers - to be honest, I kind of just skim through them.  

But today, the Psalms start with talking about God's compassion and love.  Then, it goes on to say how sinful he is and how many things he has done wrong.  

But, it starts with the love and compassion of God.  

I think I get that wrong sometimes (ok, most of the time).  I start with how unproductive I am or the bad thoughts I have.  I lead with all I've done wrong, and then ask God to forgive me.  I feel like that leads to shame and guilt because I am focusing on my wrongdoings.

But, what if I started like David does?  What if I focused on the love and compassion of God and then mention that I've messed up?  It seems like that would lead to more gratefulness.  It seems like resisting temptation would not be such a struggle because it would come from a place of thankfulness instead of using my will to not mess up.  

Thanks Psalms!

NUMBERS 8-9, MARK 13

 When the cloud was lifted, they would leave.  When the cloud was there, they would stay.  Sometimes the cloud stayed for a month, but they would just stay that long.

They trusted God and followed Your lead.

I am frustrated because the cloud was there yesterday, and I didn't move.  I wanted to move.  I was bored just staying there.  I could have forced a move and kind of wish I had.  But, the cloud was still overhead.

It's all about trust.

You know better than I do.  We always want to rush things and we try to think we know what is best.  When I am needed, You'll put me in a spot to move.  Until then, just wait for the cloud.

NUMBERS 2-3, MARK 11-12

 Even the Pharisees said that Jesus was a man of integrity because He didn't care what other people thought about Him.  

Sometimes I think I am that way too.  I do things that I think are right and "don't care" about what people say.  I am not afraid of doing things alone and "don't care" what other people think.  I go places that make me a little uncomfortable, but "don't care" how people respond to me.

The good thing is that, for the most part, I do things that are right no matter what people think.  The bad things is that I do care.  While I'm walking in the halls at tennis practice and no one is talking to me, I try to seem like I "don't care", but I do.  When I go to these kids sporting events and I am there by myself making conversations with parents, I try to seem like I "don't care" about the awkwardness, but I do.  When people say things about my teaching, I know that they have no idea what I do and be quiet and "don't care", but it does sting a bit.

It's a process, and I do feel like I am improving.  But, to get to the point where I am only concerned about what You think about me - I don't think I'll ever get there on this earth.  

LEVITICUS 27, NUMBERS 1, MARK 11

 Here's something I missed - when they go to get the donkey Jesus tells them to say they'll bring it back.

The first thing that went through my mind was that You would now have to organize someone to bring it back, and then You would have to make sure it was done.  And, if that was me, I would be worrying the whole time that I would forget or that I'd have to make someone go out of their way or that it wouldn't get done right.

That's my problem.  I think about all of the things that go into something, and sometimes I won't do it just because of all the "effort" it would take.  Or, I worry so much about making sure something gets done, that I don't enjoy the thing I'm doing.  Or, if I say I'm going to do something, or even if I don't but I know it's the right thing to do, I get all worked up because it reflects on me.  Or, if I ask someone else to do something, I worry that they won't do it right and then I'll look bad.

I bet the donkey got back.  I bet You didn't even worry one second about how that would happen or if it would.  You just knew and focused on what was needed right then.

Yes, I always want to be a person that follows through on my word.  And yes, if I use something from someone else, I want to respect that and return that to them quickly.  

But, I also want to be like You and do what is needed RIGHT NOW without worrying about all the steps that it's going to take to make that happen or thinking that I have to be the one to do them.

LEVITICUS 25-27, MARK 10

 Random Thought: There is no thanking God in the Our Father!

In Leviticus, God refers to His people as servants a lot.  There are rules for how to treat your servants.  They talk about when a servant goes free.  There are a lot of rules about servants.  

Today, He also talked about men and women and how much they "were worth."  Basically, He says women are worth half as much.  

I can see how, after reading Leviticus, a person might think that slavery was ok and that women were not as valuable as men.  I don't believe God believes that.  But, why is it like that in the Bible?  Even in the New Testament, there are references to slavery and women being "less than" men.  

Was this just a sign of the times?  Does God create us with different value?  Or, are there some things in the Bible that we just don't understand, but our Spirit tells us what is true?  I know that can be a dangerous statement, but I'm pretty sure I will believe that until the end of my days.  

I will never believe that anyone based on race, economic standard, gender or whatever has any more or less value in God's eyes.  I don't care what the Bible says (oooh, that seems weird to write!).

LEVITICUS 24-25, MARK 10

​If I am honest, my focus was a little bit on the Raider game tonight, and then I realized I hadn’t said the Our Father.  That really does give the entire day to God - we don’t have to worry about how we’re gonna react or what is going to happen.  It’s all covered in the Our Father.

I spend so much time thinking about what I should say or what I should do, or I worry about what is going to happen.  No more!  It’s all covered by the Our Father.  

(I just said “No more” and then started thinking about things again!  Work in progress)

Crud, I was gonna talk about how cool an idea the Jubilee is and I got sidetracked.

LEVITICUS 22-23, MARK 9-10

 "Everyone will be salted with fire.  Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again?  Have salt among yourselves and be at peace with each other." - Mark 9:49-50

You are talking about getting rid of things that may cause you to go to hell.  Then...

Everyone will be salted with fire - You are talking about the fires of hell right before that.  Are you saying that the threat of hell actually gives us something good?  Does the threat of hell make us rely more on the Holy Spirit?  Or, are You just going straight up Holy Spirit and changing the narrative?  Is it more like, "Just like there is fire in hell, you will also have fire - the Holy Spirit, and everyone gets some."?  It's like we use salt to make food taste better.

I do get the "salt is good" part.  It means we have to keep the Holy Spirit with us.  If we lose it, there goes our salt.

But......

Have salt among yourselves - what?  Wait, are You just saying to share the Holy Spirit with each other.  We ask Him in, we acknowledge His presence, we are guided by Him.  That's how we are at peace with each other.

I think I may get it.  It's all about the Holy Spirit.  We rely way too much on ourselves!

LEVITICUS 20-22, MARK 9

 Why does this one bug me so much?  Some of you will not taste death until you see the Kingdom of God coming in force.  They all died - everyone You were talking to.  Did the Kingdom already come in force?  Was it at Pentecost?  Everyone was alive at Pentecost - why not just say, "None of you...."?

You do this a couple of times, and I wish I understood it.

Also, the demon thing - it always gets me.  It always makes me ask questions and wonder, "What if?"  Back then, people just assumed it was a demon.  Today, we don't hear that any more, but, "What if?"  You would just command them and the people would be better.

But, then today the disciples can't rebuke one.  You say it takes prayer.  Uh oh!  I was on this big, "You don't have to pray a lot and spending time with the Father is more important that what you say or how you pray" kick.  What if I'm wrong?

A lot of questions today.