NUMBERS 8-9, MARK 13

 When the cloud was lifted, they would leave.  When the cloud was there, they would stay.  Sometimes the cloud stayed for a month, but they would just stay that long.

They trusted God and followed Your lead.

I am frustrated because the cloud was there yesterday, and I didn't move.  I wanted to move.  I was bored just staying there.  I could have forced a move and kind of wish I had.  But, the cloud was still overhead.

It's all about trust.

You know better than I do.  We always want to rush things and we try to think we know what is best.  When I am needed, You'll put me in a spot to move.  Until then, just wait for the cloud.

NUMBERS 2-3, MARK 11-12

 Even the Pharisees said that Jesus was a man of integrity because He didn't care what other people thought about Him.  

Sometimes I think I am that way too.  I do things that I think are right and "don't care" about what people say.  I am not afraid of doing things alone and "don't care" what other people think.  I go places that make me a little uncomfortable, but "don't care" how people respond to me.

The good thing is that, for the most part, I do things that are right no matter what people think.  The bad things is that I do care.  While I'm walking in the halls at tennis practice and no one is talking to me, I try to seem like I "don't care", but I do.  When I go to these kids sporting events and I am there by myself making conversations with parents, I try to seem like I "don't care" about the awkwardness, but I do.  When people say things about my teaching, I know that they have no idea what I do and be quiet and "don't care", but it does sting a bit.

It's a process, and I do feel like I am improving.  But, to get to the point where I am only concerned about what You think about me - I don't think I'll ever get there on this earth.  

LEVITICUS 27, NUMBERS 1, MARK 11

 Here's something I missed - when they go to get the donkey Jesus tells them to say they'll bring it back.

The first thing that went through my mind was that You would now have to organize someone to bring it back, and then You would have to make sure it was done.  And, if that was me, I would be worrying the whole time that I would forget or that I'd have to make someone go out of their way or that it wouldn't get done right.

That's my problem.  I think about all of the things that go into something, and sometimes I won't do it just because of all the "effort" it would take.  Or, I worry so much about making sure something gets done, that I don't enjoy the thing I'm doing.  Or, if I say I'm going to do something, or even if I don't but I know it's the right thing to do, I get all worked up because it reflects on me.  Or, if I ask someone else to do something, I worry that they won't do it right and then I'll look bad.

I bet the donkey got back.  I bet You didn't even worry one second about how that would happen or if it would.  You just knew and focused on what was needed right then.

Yes, I always want to be a person that follows through on my word.  And yes, if I use something from someone else, I want to respect that and return that to them quickly.  

But, I also want to be like You and do what is needed RIGHT NOW without worrying about all the steps that it's going to take to make that happen or thinking that I have to be the one to do them.

LEVITICUS 25-27, MARK 10

 Random Thought: There is no thanking God in the Our Father!

In Leviticus, God refers to His people as servants a lot.  There are rules for how to treat your servants.  They talk about when a servant goes free.  There are a lot of rules about servants.  

Today, He also talked about men and women and how much they "were worth."  Basically, He says women are worth half as much.  

I can see how, after reading Leviticus, a person might think that slavery was ok and that women were not as valuable as men.  I don't believe God believes that.  But, why is it like that in the Bible?  Even in the New Testament, there are references to slavery and women being "less than" men.  

Was this just a sign of the times?  Does God create us with different value?  Or, are there some things in the Bible that we just don't understand, but our Spirit tells us what is true?  I know that can be a dangerous statement, but I'm pretty sure I will believe that until the end of my days.  

I will never believe that anyone based on race, economic standard, gender or whatever has any more or less value in God's eyes.  I don't care what the Bible says (oooh, that seems weird to write!).

LEVITICUS 24-25, MARK 10

​If I am honest, my focus was a little bit on the Raider game tonight, and then I realized I hadn’t said the Our Father.  That really does give the entire day to God - we don’t have to worry about how we’re gonna react or what is going to happen.  It’s all covered in the Our Father.

I spend so much time thinking about what I should say or what I should do, or I worry about what is going to happen.  No more!  It’s all covered by the Our Father.  

(I just said “No more” and then started thinking about things again!  Work in progress)

Crud, I was gonna talk about how cool an idea the Jubilee is and I got sidetracked.

LEVITICUS 22-23, MARK 9-10

 "Everyone will be salted with fire.  Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again?  Have salt among yourselves and be at peace with each other." - Mark 9:49-50

You are talking about getting rid of things that may cause you to go to hell.  Then...

Everyone will be salted with fire - You are talking about the fires of hell right before that.  Are you saying that the threat of hell actually gives us something good?  Does the threat of hell make us rely more on the Holy Spirit?  Or, are You just going straight up Holy Spirit and changing the narrative?  Is it more like, "Just like there is fire in hell, you will also have fire - the Holy Spirit, and everyone gets some."?  It's like we use salt to make food taste better.

I do get the "salt is good" part.  It means we have to keep the Holy Spirit with us.  If we lose it, there goes our salt.

But......

Have salt among yourselves - what?  Wait, are You just saying to share the Holy Spirit with each other.  We ask Him in, we acknowledge His presence, we are guided by Him.  That's how we are at peace with each other.

I think I may get it.  It's all about the Holy Spirit.  We rely way too much on ourselves!

LEVITICUS 20-22, MARK 9

 Why does this one bug me so much?  Some of you will not taste death until you see the Kingdom of God coming in force.  They all died - everyone You were talking to.  Did the Kingdom already come in force?  Was it at Pentecost?  Everyone was alive at Pentecost - why not just say, "None of you...."?

You do this a couple of times, and I wish I understood it.

Also, the demon thing - it always gets me.  It always makes me ask questions and wonder, "What if?"  Back then, people just assumed it was a demon.  Today, we don't hear that any more, but, "What if?"  You would just command them and the people would be better.

But, then today the disciples can't rebuke one.  You say it takes prayer.  Uh oh!  I was on this big, "You don't have to pray a lot and spending time with the Father is more important that what you say or how you pray" kick.  What if I'm wrong?

A lot of questions today.