LUKE 22:45

 When He rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, He found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. - Luke 22:45

Who was exhausted from sorrow - You or the disciples?  Since they were asleep, I'm guessing it was the disciples.  But, these are the same disciples that started arguing about who was the greatest right after You told them that You were going to suffer and leave them until the Kingdom was fulfilled.  That doesn't sound like sleep inducing sorrow to me.

But, I do get it.  These people left everything to follow You.  All of their hopes were in You.  Everything they knew was because of You.  They had seen miracles and been apart of what their people were waiting their whole lives for.  Now, You were leaving and You would have to suffer to do it.

I'm sure, well maybe I'm not - did they know that when You said You were leaving it meant that You were going to die?  Or did they think You were just going to go somewhere without them?  

But, I guess the more important part here is that they were exhausted from sorrow.  I have never been there, and I bet not a lot of people have.  I can only speak for myself; because I think so much of myself that exhaustion from sorrow could never happen.  That would require me to truly care about others, to truly follow someone, to put someone else's thoughts, feelings, ideas in front of my own.  Wow, with the way I am now, I wonder if I could have even followed You.  I wonder if I follow You now.

LUKE 22:44

 And being in anguish, He prayed more earnestly, and His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. - Luke 22:44

This was definitely the most anguish You were ever in, right?  

*anguish - severe mental suffering

Just by Your reactions to the leaders and how You were still able to focus on the mission throughout the whole process, I bet the people who were there had no idea how much anguish this was causing You.  But, I also wonder how much this prayer had to do with that.

I also wonder if I've ever prayed with something earnestly.  I don't think so.  I've never been suffering so bad, or worried about something that matters so much, or really felt like, "I can't handle this" (ok, maybe in the bathroom at St. Lukes), or maybe I just don't quite understand the importance of moments.

With that, was it really blood or was the sweat coming so fast it was like blood?  I guess it really doesn't matter - the point is made.  When You were facing the toughest thing You'd ever faced, You prayed harder.

LUKE 22:43

 An angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened Him. - Luke 22:43

You were not physically drained at this point, so the strengthening must have been mental / spiritual, right?  Maybe that's what I need - an angel to strengthen me.  

That is my question, what role did God, the angels, Your own spiritual life play in helping you get through what was coming?  I think about, and hope I would never be in this situation, the enormous pain that You and many of Your followers have had to go through because of their faith.  I wonder if the pain is lessened by their relationship or if angels do help.  It seems like some of the things that You and Your followers have had to go through would be unbearable without some sort of heavenly intervention.

I hope, for their sake, that is the case.  And for our sake, thank You.

LUKE 22:42

 "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." - Luke 22:43

"Yet not my will, but yours be done." When your wife wants to go see a different movie than you do.

"Yet not my will, but yours be done."  When you have three clubs at school and you should be at your best with every kid.

"Yet not my will, but yours be done." When you really should eat better and think it will make you happier.

"Yet not my will, but yours be done." When you see a stranger on the street and don't feel like saying hello.

"Yet not my will, but yours be done." When you come home from school and just want to take a nap, but your wife and son want to talk.

Not, in any way comparable to the cup You had, but the strange thing is, I still failed at a lot of them just yesterday.  How can I justify my will in any situation after the cup you drank?

LUKE 22:41

 He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, - Luke 22:41

A stone's throw?  So the disciples could see Him while He was praying.  I wonder if they were watching Him or praying on their own.  (Side note - I have a hard time praying while other people are around.  I guess You did not have that same issue.). It does add a different wrinkle to what's coming next.

Also, I wonder why You didn't go further - really get away.  Did You want them to see you pray?  Did You enjoy their presence?  Did You not even really think about it - were You just really wanting to talk to the Father?  

I bet it was something to see though.  I bet Your praying is a lot better than ours.  And when I say better, I mean a lot more focused and like You know that You are communicating with God.  

But, this was it.  This was really about to go down.  This would be Your last time to really connect with the Father.

LUKE 22:40

 On reaching the place, He said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation." - Luke 22:40

You literally said that to them.  "Pray that you will not fall into temptation."  A couple of hours, minutes, later......

What were they tempted by?  Fear?  Physical pain? Pride? Poor decisions?  If I had to pick one, I'd probably pick fear.  Fear makes us think and do a whole lot of dumb things.  Fear also makes us not think and not do a whole lot of great things.

So, when You said, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation," You knew that the temptation for fear would lead to them disowning You, right?  And if You were going to ask us to pray for something today, I bet You would say the same thing.  

Every poor choice we make - falling into temptation.

LUKE 22:39

 Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed Him. - Luke 22:39

As usual?  Did You go out to the Mount of Olives regularly?  I guess You did.

So, You would go to the place where you would spend the last night with Your disciples?  You would go to where You'd pray up blood?  You would go to a place where You knew the last night You spent with your disciples, the place they would disown you, would be a horrible memory?  

But, You also went to the place where You would ascend to heaven.  

I do like that You had a special place.  Cooler than McDonalds.  Probably even better than my spot in Chicago or the canopy seats in Cinci, but I'm with You.  The place matters.  And I admire that You would go there often, as what, a reminder of Your mission?  That's even better!

LUKE 22:38

 The disciples said, "See, Lord, here are two swords."

"That's enough!" He replied. - Luke 22:38

Why the exclamation point?  Was is like that's enough of this talk or that's enough swords?  I kind of feel like You were done with the conversation because the disciples just weren't getting it.  They were taking you literally (And, by the way, how did they come up with two swords so quickly?  Did people just have swords lying around that anyone could take?) when You were trying to tell them the biggest news in the history of the world.

I guess we get like that, or I get like that.  I want to get stuff done or I want to look productive.  So, I'll do things, go to work, plan, whatever.  Just so I can say, "Here are two swords."  I want to feel like I'm following what You said, but I'm missing the whole point.  

Maybe if I wasn't in such a hurry to show that I was doing something, I might just get it!

LUKE 22:37

 "It is written: 'And He was numbered with the transgressors'; and I tell you that this must be fulfilled in me.  Yes, what is written about me is reaching fulfillment." - Luke 22:37

Why am I so mad?  My tooth cracked again.  I have to go to a job.  My dog deuced in the bathroom and then kept getting in my way.  

You had, and have, real issues to deal with.  People in this world have real issues to deal with.  I mean You were sent here to be crucified.  That was Your main purpose.  You knew it was coming and now the time was here.  People have real illnesses.  People have horrible things happen to family members and friends.

Maybe my life has been too good.  Maybe all these great things that have happened to me have warped my brain.  Maybe I should be more appreciative, focus more on, the things that other's have done and gone through so that I could be where I am today.

Thank You!

LUKE 22:36

 He said to them, "But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one." - Luke 22:36

You don't seem like a "buy a sword" guy!  

Are You telling them that now they're going to need to get stuff on their own because You're going to be gone?  Or is it because they will be on the run and will need to make sure they have money and supplies in case they get stuck in a place for a long time?  I just don't get it.  Unless You are just talking about for the next couple of days.

And as I read the next couple of verses (come back tomorrow!) - there it is!  This is Your way of telling them that You are going away for a while.

For the disciples who have spent every second of every day with You, for, what, like three years, this is so weird.  They've depended on You for everything - spiritually, physically, mentally.  Everything has been tied into You.

Maybe it should be the same way for us.

LUKE 22:35

 Then Jesus asked them, "When I sent you without purse, bag or sandals, did you lack anything?"

"Nothing," they answered.  - Luke 22:35

It's kind of amazing when you think about it.  While they were following Jesus, the disciples really did not have steady jobs, a consistent place to stay, a way to get food.  That's a whole lot of trust in Jesus.  It doesn't make sense at all.  

If Jesus asked me to follow Him today without money, without any of my stuff, without even shoes - would I do that?  I asked our Bible Group that question the other day and I have to say, "I don't know."  I mean, if it was You, I would trust enough at this point to hopefully say, "Yes!"  But, these disciples, they weren't really sure Who this was.  

They just followed You!  They had no concern for what they wanted or needed - or maybe they wanted and needed You!

LUKE 22:34

 Jesus answered, "I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me." - Luke 22:34

This is another one.  How did You know?  And were there limitations?  Did you just know what the disciples were going to do?  Everyone?  And was it only the important stuff or could you see everything?  Like when You were praying, did The Father show you everything that was about to happen every day?  

How far in advance was it?  How could you have everything about everyone in your brain at one time?  I mean, we know our memories, but our brains would explode if we knew everyone's memories.  Or, was the future just stuff that pertained to You?  

I have so many questions, but I guess that's missing the point.  You knew that one of Your most devoted disciples was about the deny that he knew You.  Three times!  That must have hurt.  Being human, You had to feel disappointment.  But it always seems like You took it as Your job.  Your mission.  But, how did You balance it - Your role as Savior vs Your life as Jesus?

So many questions.

LUKE 22:33

 But he replied, "Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death." - Luke 22:33

I always say that you don't know how you will react until a situation actually happens.  

I'm sure Peter was sincere when he said this.  I'm sure in that moment he thought that no matter what happened, he was going to be up to the challenge.  But, we just never know until it happens.

That's why I try not to judge when people make a mistake.  (I said "try"). We really don't know that if we were in the same situation at the same time and same place that we would act any different.  Obviously, we'll find out later, when Peter realizes that he had said this and didn't follow through, that he felt horrible and regretted that decision.  But, who is to say that we wouldn't have ditched You too?

So, do we just not say things like this?  Maybe.  But, more importantly, if someone says something and then doesn't do it later, maybe I could at least remember that I am capable of exactly the same thing.

LUKE 22:32

"But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.  And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."  - Luke 22:32

I have prayed for you......And when you have turned back.  Wouldn't you think that Jesus' prayers would be enough?  That we wouldn't fall back.  But, I guess we really do have free will.  Whoa - random thought!  Why are we praying for stuff to happen?  If Jesus' prayer was not answered, and if everything really is dependent on our decisions, should we just kinda talk to God and listen?  Sorry, sidebar.

I think the bigger focus here is that we have decisions to make.  And if you look back at the last verse, the devil is doing stuff to help us make the wrong decisions.  But, we also have Jesus on our side praying that our faith won't fail.  So, we can win in every decision - maybe even by just having faith that God is on our side.

However, the biggest focus is this.  When we do fail, and we will, come back and strengthen the brothers and sisters.  In tennis, when a player messes up an easy volley or double faults, the mindset of the great ones is, "focus on the next play."  I feel like it's gotta be the same for us. 

LUKE 22:31

 "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat." - Luke 22:31

Here's what sifting wheat looks like: NOT GOOD!  The lady from this blog says basically Jesus is telling them - "it's gonna hurt like hell."  You beat the wheat, then you shake it, until all of the inedible chaff is gone. 

This is what Satan asked to do to them.  (Side note: How does that work?  Are You and Satan having regular conversations?  Is he interrupting prayer time?).  And Jesus feels like He has to tell Peter.

I guess the message here is that life is hard.  Christian life.  Non-christian life.  Every life.  It's hard.  I guess we all kinda get sifted like wheat at some points in our life.  So, maybe we should expect that.  Don't worry about it - it's coming whether we worry or not.  Don't get discouraged when it comes - it comes for everyone.  Don't feel ashamed, like we did something to deserve it - the disciples got it too!  

But know that in the end, bread is made, and bread is delicious!

LUKE 22:30

 "so that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom and sit on thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel." - Luke 22:30

Does this make any sense?  You just talked about how the greatest are the servants and like children - how others lord their authority over people.  You literally asked, "who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves?"  (Reminder, You said, "But I am among you as one who serves.")

But, then You tell the disciples that You are giving them this kingdom so that they can EAT AND DRINK AT THE TABLE?  But, not only that, they'll sit on thrones and judge the twelve tribes of Israel (which I'm not really sure what it means, but it sounds pretty important - and kinda like what the other type of rulers You talked about would do.)

Is the whole message that if we put others first while we are here on earth, then our reward will be this?  You did say you conferred this kingdom to us (see post from a couple of days ago.).  But, is this really worth doing it for?  I kinda feel like You weren't in it for the reward.  I kinda feel like you were a servant because you loved us so much and You knew what had to be done.  

And I kinda feel like the reward is in putting others in front of yourself.  Or do I?

Luke 22:29

 "And I confer on you a kingdom, just as my Father conferred one on me," - Luke 22:29

Award to.  Decorate with.  Grant to.  These are all things that mean about the same thing as confer.  (Yep, I had to look that up!).  It's kind of like an honor, something given to you as a special recognition.  God gave it to Jesus and Jesus is giving it to us.

Not a medal, not some title, but a kingdom.  The kingdom.  And I don't get the feeling He was saying, "Take care of it."  If He conferred it, he's giving it as an award, a prize.  So, we get the kingdom.

What does that mean?  I think it's kind of like Fr. Pat, the Franciscan DJ, said, "We can kind of escape our bodies and see life how it really is, see the truth."  Because we have this kingdom, we know what really matters in this world.  We can still have hope and joy and peace, no matter what is happening in the other kingdoms; because this kingdom is all about love and grace.  

I think I'm gonna spend some time in that kingdom today.

Luke 22:28

 "You are those who have stood by me in trials." - Luke 22:28

Jesus is talking about the difference between leaders who are self-serving versus leaders who are servants.  He says He is one who serves.  Then, out of nowhere, he talks about how they have stood by him in trials.  I love when He does this - really makes you think,

Why didn't He say, "You are those who have served." Or, "You are those who have been self-serving."  Is standing by Him in trial some way related to serving?  I'm not sure.

But, I am sure that standing by someone in trials was a big deal to Jesus.  He specifically mentions it the last time He's with His good friends.  Now, I think He's gonna go somewhere with this, but it does seem to me that trials are strong determiners of who we are.  And, I guess, kind of determine who we serve.

Luke 22:27

 "For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves?  Is it not the one who is at the table?  But I am among you as one who serves." - Luke 22:27

Who is at the table?  The paying customer - someone who can afford the meal.  The higher rated person on the social scale.  The person who doesn't want to cook their own meal.  The one who wants to be served.  

Maybe this is why I really don't like going out to eat where you have a server.  Part of it is because it's usually more expensive, part of it is because I like to get my own stuff, but maybe there is something inside of me that knows I should be the server.  

I like how You put this - who is greater?  You ask it as if everyone knows that it's the person at the table, but then You say, "I am among you as one who serves."  Again, the goal is not to be served but to serve.

Luke 22:26

 "But you are not to be like that.  Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves." - Luke 22:26

I love this!  (Probably because it's perfect for who I am).  What I love about it is what He doesn't say or even, from the last verse, what He specifically says not to do.  Don't put yourself first.  Don't try to get people to do what you want them to do.  And He doesn't say that the great ones will have great personalities or will have a lot of people who like them or they'll have this powerful presence.

No, the great ones will serve.  The great ones will look to learn, will depend on others, will have faith and hope - that's what I think He means by being "like the youngest."  The great ones will put others in front of themselves.  Now, that's something that I can do.  Heck, that's something that all of us can do.

Do I think that some people have been created as better leaders than others?  Yes I do.  But, I also know that each of us is a leader in some way, some area of life.  And, even if our leadership skills will not lead us to being the General Manager of a baseball team or a government official, wherever we lead we should do it as a servant.  I think the kids call that servant leadership!

Luke 22:25

 Jesus said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors."  - Luke 22:25

I have to admit, I had to look up benefactors just to make sure.  And, yep, I'm pretty sure this whole thing is saying that some people use their authority the wrong way.  Instead of trying to help others they just want to show how powerful they are.

This has always been my problem with government.  I often wonder, "Are they really trying to help people?"  And I guess it's the same for anyone in authority - parents, teachers, principals, coaches (those are the people who lead in my world).  Are we doing it so that other people have better lives?  

I know, in my role as a parent and a teacher, there are a lot of times when I justify not doing that because I'm in a "bad mood" or "I just can't deal with that today" or "does it really make a difference."  But, I have to remember that I have been put in these positions so that I can positively affect other people's lives.  Hopefully I remember that today.

Luke 22:24

 "A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be the greatest." - Luke 22:24

A little background - this comes right after Jesus has just shared the bread and wine for the first Last Supper and let everyone know that someone would betray Him.  At one point the disciples are questioning each other about who could possibly turn on the One they have given their lives for.  And somehow the conversation turns to, "I'm better than you."

I kinda get it.  They probably wanted to prove so much that the betrayer couldn't be them that they started listing off their resume of Jesus stuff.  So, instead of focusing on Jesus, who has just said, "This is My last Passover."  They feel the need to prove themselves - so much so that a "dispute" arose!

We do that, don't we?  How many times in the day do we have situations when we should clearly be focusing on others, or clearly be focusing on Jesus, and we are so worried about proving ourselves that we turn it inward.  We defend ourselves or tell others what we think or share what we did.  

But, what really draws me to Jesus is that He doesn't care.  We don't have to prove ourselves.  We don't have to give Him our resume.  We can just be who He created us to be.  We can have the freedom to focus on others.  I feel like I should try that today.